Caption Quote Contest #14: MGSV:GZ

[Maxine Work]

It's not a Monday! And so I apologise for the delay, but without further ado here's the new Caption Quote Contest!

After last time we're returning to our regularly scheduled single image... this time it's Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes!

Post your entries below! A poll to vote for your favourites will be posted at the end of next week! 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winners will be decided once voting ends.
I look forward to reading your entries!

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And now it's time to announce the winner of CQC #13! Our largest CQC ever, with a staggering 12 entries! But newcomer captioner @Sunless_Heaven emerged cream of the crop, claiming more than half the votes! @Jassassino and @greyfox both claimed a humble vote each. Well done to all!
Gentle reminder that votes for your own entries won't be counted! 28.57% of the votes cast this time around were for people's own entries. Please vote in the spirit of fun in the future.
Leaderboards:

Placement	Member	Wins	Total Votes
1st Place	Dirty Duck	5	14
2nd Place	black king	4	12
3rd Place	Shyne-Bryght	4	11
4th Place	starschwar	3	13
5th Place	Null	1	5

[Jassassino]

@Jassassinoand @greyfoxboth claimed a humble vote each.

[MGWSpike]

You had me eat gross stuff, lose an eye, kill the woman I love... You had me beaten, shot at, thrown off a bridge, stung by bees, burned, tortured, drowned, cloned, turned into a human torch, ... I'm *not* talking to you.

[starschwar]

"It's a long flight back to Mother Base, so it's story time again. So. There's a package delivery guy, hair like yours. He plugs a special fetus into his abdomen so he can see ghosts that - Boss? Aren't you going to listen?"

[Null]

Little did he know, the man the Boss had rescued was about to ruin the next 9 years of his life.

[Dirty Duck]

Hideo was starting to think the "smoke-free" seating on Pequod wasn't actually worth the extra $5.

[starschwar]

Hideo was starting to think the "smoke-free" seating on Pequod wasn't actually worth the extra $5.

You've created a time paradox!  That's Morpho!

[Dirty Duck]

Hideo was starting to think the "smoke-free" seating on Pequod wasn't actually worth the extra $5.

You've created a time paradox!  That's Morpho!

[Shyne-Bryght]

"I solo op this whole campaign, and now I have to share my ride with this nerd?!"

"Snake, that 'nerd' just S ranked your previous mission score with zero weapons in less than 8 minutes."

"!"

[Roger]

"And that's how NORAD keeps track of Santa Claus"
"I only asked you to put out the cigar"
"Cigar? Yeah, no"