Late night feelings

[Null]

I think you have to be deliberate about this stuff, personally. I've been longing for more friendships recently and missing the ones I've had. But I acknowledge like you I've not always made a friendship/relationship with me an easy thing to have or maintain.

So I've kind of resolved to kind of do better recently. More must be done! The night we went to the Royal Albert Hall is a good example. Stuff like that needs to happen more despite it being sometimes difficult or inconvenient to do so. I loved seeing you all that night and wish I'd made more of an effort to do more. It was really good of you to arrange that whole evening @NateDog

One of the things that I thought a lot about was how if things had turned out differently, Joe would have been there that night. Probably Gary, too. But, I was a lot closer with Joe personally. And it hit me like a truck that despite having a very deep and loving relationship with Joe, we never met, which is one of the worst things EVER. It makes me feel sick every time I think about it. It doesn't cheapen anything, but it does make me more determined to consciously spend more time maintaining and building friendships.

Problem is it requires putting yourself out there which is an eternal issue, I think. Despite being a 36 year old man I'm constantly second guessing myself because apparently the most embarrassing thing in the world these days is sincerity and actually acting as if you care about something. I really want to consciously push back against that idea.

So, yeah. I mean. This is an open invitation to everyone really. Let's all talk more, let's all endeavour to maintain friendships properly. Caring is cool. I'm not suggesting we all become eternal besties (although, why not!?) but perhaps we should all make more of an effort to talk, check-in, and arrange things.

Starting...now.